Addiction Recovery

Getting Help For Alcoholic Family Members

What should you do if you have a family member who drinks too much or is unwell through alcoholism? Many people are reluctant to talk about and deal with these issues. And it can be difficult to get help.

The first point to note is that the person drinking too much is ill and at a stage in their addiction in which they cannot just stop drinking on their own. They need help. But they need help that family members cannot often give, and this is where addiction clinics become very useful.

An alcohol rehab clinic will often provide a period of residential care for the person with a drinking problem. Some clinics require the person to arrive ‘dry’ or ’sober’ and off alcohol, having completed an alcohol detox. Others are able to give a medically supervised detox.

The main treatment within an alcohol rehab centre is counselling and help in enabling the person to live without alcohol. It is one thing to get off the alcohol, but another to stay off the alcohol and stay sober. This is very difficult and needs coping strategies to deal with difficult situations in the future.

At this stage in the rehab treatment support from family members can be very helpful, support in helping the person remain sober. Many rehab centres also offer support for families, both counselling individually for other family members and group sessions with all family members together. In this respect family would include any close friends or partners.

This support from family is important after the residential rehab is completed. Once an alcohol has stopped drinking they usually say they are in Recovery, recognising that it is all too easy to slip back into drinking again. But many former alcoholics successfully stop drinking and remain sober for life.

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Drug and Alcohol Process of “Admission”

During the process of what I call “Admission” comes the task of making the decision to change. On a basic level, before a person can decide to change, an evaluation of their circumstances is necessary. Benjamin Franklin used a technique whenever a major decision was at hand.

What old Ben would do is he would draw a large “t” on a piece of paper. On one side he would place all of the positives. On the other side he would place all of the negatives. If the positives outweighed the negatives, the decision was made for him. It seems like a simple step. However, when it comes to addiction it can be overwhelming. The choice to put down the drink or drug is a radical concept to the abuser.

Some times it takes family, friends or an employer to intervene and demand that the individual cease the use and abuse of mind-altering substances. For the abuser this is good news. At the time they do not think so. It feels like the end of the world is occurring. They believe they are losing what keeps them going in life, their best friend.

I remember I was 16 years old when I was arrested for stealing record albums from an A&S Department store. OK, if you are under 35 an album was what music was recorded on prior to CD’s. Of course this was also before 1-800-Child-Abuse was around as well. So promptly after my father beat me to what I thought was near death. My mom came in to my room to talk to me. I remember her say to me, “Danny, you need to stop smoking this POT crap and drinking beer and start to behave like the good kid you were!”

I looked at my mother with this puzzled expression, tears still streaming down my face. Muscles and bones still aching from the beating of a lifetime and saying, “Mom, if I did not smoke pot or drink beer what would life be?” My mom was speechless and walked out.

Now multiply the addicts thinking of an exp Read the rest of this entry »

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How and Why the 12-Steps Are So Effective

Unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery (Dr. William Duncan Silkworth, M.D. “The Doctor’s Opinion” - Alcoholics Anonymous page xxvii)

The Problem

Your mind can only handle so much negative emotion. At some point your mind snaps unless you do something about it. Some people pass the breaking point and have a nervous breakdown. Some abuse food sex, money, gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc. as a way to relieve their problems. Some become “workaholics”. To keep the reading smooth, I am using the words “alcoholic” or “addict”, but these principles apply to any problem that the 12-steps address such as Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, SLAA, etc.

Though sometimes addictive activities may appear to relieve the suffering, they are always incomplete and temporary. The problems are still there. In fact, the abuse of their “crutch” usually adds to the problems instead of relieving them.

Inside the mind of every person are varying degrees of negative emotions. Fear, guilt, shame, remorse, anger, resentment, low self-esteem, and so on. In an alcoholic and drug addict’s mind these are usually aggravated more than in most people’s because alcohol reduces inhibitions and the drinking alcoholic will do things they would never do sober. Also, in order to fund their habit the addict/ alcoholic will do things they would not ordinarily do. Also lost jobs and productivity usually lead to financial despair if the addiction is left untreated.

Why can’t they “just” quit?

One problem with trying to “quit” without the aid of a 12-step program is that whether you are aware of it or not, the negative emotions are still there in the back of your mind — if not in the forefront — every waking moment (And sometimes in your sleep, too - es Read the rest of this entry »

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